A little frustrated.

I’m a little frustrated right now. Life is so complex. Each day is a blank slate. I used to think I was bipolar. Some days I am completely happy and cheerful. Those are the good days. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I just feel alone.

It’s almost like waking up to discover that the Zombie Invasion happened and you’re the only survivor. By the way, if that happens, The human race is in good hands. I just have to find some frozen female eggs and somehow figure out a way to grow a baby inside an artificial womb. My genes will become the foundation of the human race. All my children may be crazy, but at least they’ll look good.

Anyway, sometimes I feel alone. My life is great, but I’m missing something. I’m missing a companion. Everywhere I go, I find couples holding hands and saying how much they love each other. It kinda sucks, but during those days, I feel alive. I feel completely aware of the wind, the heat of the sun, the taste of an ice-cold Mountain Dew. When the Mountain Dew caresses my throat (more like eats away at my throat which may give me cancer one day) I know everything is going to be alright.

Girls are frustrating. Maybe it’s just the one I’m dealing with, but I think this applies to most girls. You never know what they’re thinking. No matter how bad they make you feel, you just can’t write them off. I’ve learned to embrace those feelings and let them take over. I’m not afraid of being alone. It will work out. It just takes work.

That reminds me of a story about my grandpa. He first saw my grandma at a drive-in restaurant. Kinda like Sonic, but really old. He was with his best friend when he saw her. She was beautiful. He said she was built like a Coke bottle (whatever that means).

“I have to talk to her,” my grandpa said. “I can’t leave without talking to her.”

My grandma left before he could approach her. She went home and was getting ready for bed when she saw two men walking down the road toward her house. My grandpa walked up to the house and asked her out on a date. She said no.

Every day after that, my grandpa went to my grandma’s house. He would have coffee with her brother-in-law and her sister. He would tell them how much he liked my grandma, and ask for their help.

One day, many days later, my grandma gave in and agreed to go on a date with him. The rest was history.

All of his stories have a moral. Here is what I get from that one. He found someone special. He couldn’t tell you how he knew that, but he just did. It’s a feeling you get. I can relate. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

Although he didn’t show it, I know my grandpa must have been frustrated. He probably felt like giving up, but he didn’t. He knew that there was a chance she would come around. He took a risk, and it paid off. So, I guess we are a lot alike. If he were here, he would tell me to be strong.

Oh yeah, the moral…If something is important to you, then don’t let go of it. Resist the temptation to take the easy road.

I ‘ll end with a quote from a random wall in my crappy high school. I don’t know who put it on the wall, but for some reason, I’ve always remembered it.

“If you come to a road with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”

Published in: on December 17, 2007 at 8:01 pm  Leave a Comment